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Apologies

from V​.​S. Me by So Pretty

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lyrics

I'm sorry for never loving you,
not knowing if I'll ever be able to
I'm sorry
I'm always underestimating your ability
Never appreciating all that you've achieved and I can't take that back
I carved canyons into your flesh while you climbed mountains and I never set you free
I never took care of you because I didn't feel like you deserved it
I punished you for things you couldn't control
I blamed you, I damaged you, I destroyed you, I pulled you apart as if you meant nothing, as if you aren't everything
I neglected to give you what you need
I denied your desires, diminished your dreams
I allowed hate to haunt your every move because I hated you
And I'm sorry for ever hating you
I allowed others the opportunity to hurt you, never to love you and see how good you really are
It wasn't fair and as much as I care, I still can't stop hating you, trying to change you, every chance I get
I poisoned you and I pushed you and i cut you and i burned you i buried you and i hit you and i hurt you and i hate you
I'm sorry, I miss you. I love you, I hate you. I'm sorry, I love you
But I can't love you the way that you need to be loved
I don't know where to go from here
Because I don't know how we got here
How it got this bad
But I'm apologizing
I wanted to start over
Bring us together, to be better, or whatever
And I know that saying sorry isn't enough
I know it doesn't actually do anything
So I promise to try harder
To give you more time and space, the voice I didn't know how to give, the life you always wanted to live
Wouldn't that be nice, if we could have that, someday, together.

credits

from V​.​S. Me, released March 13, 2020
written and performed by Rachel Manter

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So Pretty Chicago, Illinois

Two guitarists, one a screeching feral cat and the other a vocal powerhouse, cracking the whip on their smash and grab drummer and the lost bassist from Sublime. Creating a sound that assaults and snuggles you at the same time.

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